God’s Calling

I feel like God is calling me to start a blog that glorifies Him. I have no idea how to blog?! But, I have been praying for His direction and His will be done. Three years ago, I was on the streets!! I was not living a godly life! I was jumping from person to person, doing drugs, and sinning nonstop. I did a number of things that took me forever to forgive myself for. Today, I am getting my degree. I have almost overcome my legal issues. I feel that in no time, I will have no bondage to my past. Yes, I know that I can’t run from my past, but I am not bound in the sense that I am dreading more punishment or repercussions from my past mistakes. I am making genuine friends, getting in touch with my family, and building real relationships. Thank you Jesus for saving me!!!

My Story

I grew up in a rural Southern town and was raised in a Southern Baptist church and come from a Christian family. I thank God everyday for my upbringing. As a young child, I accepted Jesus into my heart and made the decision to live for him, knowing that temptation was in my future. Throughout my adolescence, I grew tired of going to church and started to resent my upbringing, because it hindered me from what I wanted to do. The conviction that I felt when I sinned was getting in the way of the worldly desires that I held at the time. I wanted to fit in and not be the “goody-goody”. I wanted to feel normal and worldly. I started to drift away from God, even though the Holy Spirit was directing me back to Him. As an adult, I had turned away from everything that was of God. I stopped going to church, wasn’t friends with any Christians, and was living a sinful lifestyle. Even through all of that darkness, the Holy Spirit never left me. He was always in my heart, waiting for me to come back. I felt like God had turned his head to the side when I sinned against Him, because it hurt Him to see what I was doing, like He was so disappointed in me! After years of failed relationships, fake friendships, and sin I reached rock bottom in 2016. I was unemployed, using drugs, alone, disgusted with what I had become, and found myself in a jail cell. There, after coming to my senses, I realized that I didn’t know when I would be getting out. I looked for a book to read, hadn’t opened a Bible and really studied it in a long time. At the peak of my depression and bottom, through tears, I started reading His word and the tears just kept coming. I felt a sense of peace and wave of familiarity come over me and felt my heart slowly starting to feel again. I studied that Bible and prayed so hard during that time. I begged God to come back into my heart, but He told me “I never left you. I was always here”. I witnessed a couple of miracles during that time, removing any doubts I had ever had. I knew God was speaking to me and I was returning to Him. After being released, I stumbled. I tried to return to my old ways, but He was too close to me to sin and not suffer extreme conviction. Over the next couple of years, I have built myself up to be the best version of myself that I have ever been during my adulthood. When I was a child, I felt peace and joy, I had direction, dreams, potential, hope…I had Jesus. As an adult, I had lost all of that, until I reconnected with my Lord and Savior. My spiritual health is the strongest I think it has ever been. I’m on fire for the Lord! I pray every night and thank Him for saving me. I would like to pray for you too, if you ever need it. Feel free to drop a comment or message and I will pray for you and put you in my prayer journal so I can continue doing so. And, I ask each of you who read this and believe that you also come to know Him on a personal level, Just admit that you are a sinner. Believe that Jesus is God’s son and Confess your sins to Him and commit your life to Him. Watch what good things will happen to you when you develop your personal connection with Him!